Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I just came back from my first ever dog birthday party - true story. Everyone else seemed to get the memo to bring dog clothing as a gift, whereas I brought chew toys and dog treats; silly me, right? What's your take on dog clothes? Should I have gotten the birthday dog in question something to wear instead of something he'd enjoy?

Signed,

Doggy Clothing Curious

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Dear D.C.C.,

My personal opinion on dog clothing has varied over the years. On the one hand, you have an owner, excuse me, "pet companion", who loves their four-legged friend so much that they begin to regard them as "part of the family" or even as their "child" - and you wouldn't let your child run around naked would you? On the other (saner, heavier) hand, to see an animal in a tutu can be hilarious and absurd all-at-once. What really burns me up is seeing a pooch in clothing when it's already hot outside. Brings new meaning to the expression, "dog in heat".

Unfortunately, we may be on the loosing end of this debate D.C.C., but I can almost assure you that if you put a chew toy or treat in front of a dog next to a pile of clothing he's going to go for the treat. My suggestion is the next time you're invited to a dog's birthday bash to stick to your guns, break with the new canine convention, and give that dog what he really wants: a snack and a good scratch behind the ears. Call it non-progressive if you wish, but if I were a dog I'd appreciate your gift that much more than clothing, paws down. Just because dressing your dog has become de rigueur doesn't mean you have to conform to societies new barking orders.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com