Dear Shopping Savage,
I am a 44-year old single mother of three girls who was blessed with a great post babies body. In fact, having kids gave me a great set of "twins" and a few more curves that I didn't have before. But as my children get older they are telling me I dress too sexy. I think at my age if you've survived a divorce and raised three girls if you still got it, flaunt it!
I like to wear low cut tops, tight dresses and stilettos because I feel sexy so I want to look sexy. Some of my friends have told me this is what's holding me back from a career in entertainment but again, I've met so many people in the industry - a lot of men especially - who I believe wouldn't have given me a second look if I didn't wear revealing clothing. So my question is who should I believe, my friends and family who think I dress too provocatively or just own it? And if they're right, what can I wear to appear less sexual but still look and feel sexy?
Despite your sexiness, it sounds like your closet is unbalanced. There is a time and place for every outfit and without age-appropriate clothing the perception you're giving off is counterproductive, especially if you are legitimately trying to break into the entertainment industry. With that said, you could probably stand to have a makeunder.
Take a girlfriend and/or your daughters with you shopping with the intention of finding age-appropriate/business casual wear for your future dealings with your entertainment contacts. If you're really serious about breaking into the industry, then you'll have to rely on something other than your looks to get you past the velvet rope.
And toning it down doesn't mean you have to be completely covered up. Your clothing can still be body conscious but if the dress is low cut, then it should at least be knee length. If the dress is above the knee then try to cover up the "twins" for the sake of leaving something to the imagination. But again, these are the "time and place" pieces that should only be worn when you aren't trying to impress upon someone your desire to break into an industry that hundreds of women dressed similarly to you, who are using the same line as you, but only to finance their Mrs. degree.
As a single mother of three girls you most certainly don't want your daughters growing up to believe that they need to dress a certain way to get ahead in life. There's a certain je ne sais quoi about a woman who knows she's sexy and conveys that sex appeal through her actions and energy and doesn't rely on the obvious.
Dressing for success instead of, well, sex will get you further along than you think. And I'm sure your daughters will be proud of their mom for the change.