Dear Shopping Savage,
I was asked by a very dear friend to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. The problem is that she already had a dress in mind that's just not flattering on me or many of the other bridesmaids. I know the rule of thumb used to be that the bride picked out hideous dresses so that she looked better than everyone else on her wedding day, but does that rule still apply? How can I tactfully ask my friend to think about another dress option?
Bridesmaids Dress from Hell
When it comes to the wild world of weddings, the best offense is a good defense. Meaning, the best way not to offend your friend is by mounting a defense against the chosen dress. If there are enough bridesmaids that feel similarly you should go out as a group in search of a few dress options to replace your current bridesmaid blunder. Definitely stick with the color, as well as cut of the dress if you can, so that it won't throw off any consistency that your friend thought of for the wedding photos. But as far as fabric materials, embellishments and styles are concerned, its your call.
But if you've never been in a wedding, talked to anyone who's ever been in a wedding or seen the show Bridezillas then here's a tip: your friend is no longer your friend but a bride-to-be. And even if your dress idea or ideas are better than hers there is a strong chance that the bride-to-be may loose all sense of rationale and turn into a bride-to-be-pissed-off. So just be prepared for the worse, which would result in you wearing the dress she chose.
But that may be the price you pay for being a bridesmaid. As many can attest, being in a wedding can be a huge commitment and sometimes that commitment means taking one for the team. Keep in mind that this is the wedding your friend envisioned, and if it means wearing a not so flattering dress, then again, thats the price you pay for your friend's happiness on her day. Besides, after a few cocktails and spins on the dance floor you'll forget all about the dress and just focus on the happy occasion.