Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

What is madras plaid? I've seen a few guys in shirts, blazers or shorts and was just curious. Is it similar to seersucker? It looks pretty cool and I'm thinking I want to start wearing it. Have any suggestions on how or what to wear it with?

Signed,

Plaid Player

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Dear P.P.,

Madras plaid is similar to seersucker in that its a lightweight cotton fabric worn in warmer weather seasons, primarily spring and summer. Its also similar to seersucker in that its favored in the south and by the preppy sect of society. But that preferential treatment and regional designation shouldn't deter you from wearing it. Madras doesn't speak to everyone's sartorial senses so if you think you can wear it, then by all means have at it.

Now, how to wear it. Since the patchwork pattern already has a lot going on, you'd want to look at pairing your madras pieces with solids to let the patchwork be the dizzying focal point of your outfit. If you opt to buy madras shorts or pants, any solid colored polo or oxford would do. The same rule applies for madras shirts: plan to wear solid pants or shorts. (Rarely can one pull off critter pants paired with madras but if you want to go completely p-p-p-p-Preppy then here's your chance.) A madras blazer could be worn with just about any outfit as long as the top and bottom in question are solid in coloring.

If you're looking for an easier transition into the unplanned plaid pattern, look for a necktie, bow tie, belt or even shoes made from madras that you can accessories an outfit with that would be considered plain without the plaid. Where the comparison with seersucker goes completely out the window is when someone wears a madras blazer and pant together. Wearing a "patchwork suit" is borderline reverse snobbery at its best, but there's only so much pattern the eyes can take in at once. And if you want to look like a well-groomed hobo then again, by all means have at it. Just don't be surprised if someone drops a quarter in your cup of coffee.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: Dwaun@shoppingsavage.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

What is the appropriate length for a man's work pants? I'm noticing more guys wearing them shorter these days.

Signed,

Pants Length Question

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Dear P.L.Q.,

If you're asking whether or not its acceptable for men to wear high water pants, the short answer is no. The only exception would be for the man who's vocabulary included the name of fashion designer Thom Browne and was familiar with his suit aesthetic. But if the pant hem offender in question is not in the know of Browne then his pants have just become fashion faux pas fair game.

A man's pant break options fall into three major categories: medium, full and short. Most men opt for the medium break as it straddles the line best between the two more "extreme" breaks. It's referred to as the safest of the pant breaks because you would have them tailored to fall midway between the top of the sole of your shoe and its opening. A man of average height is most likely to wear this pant length. The full break is considered trendier since its tailored for a deeper crease in the front of the pant, landing its hem at the heel. Besides the trendy, most taller men prefer this hem to avoid a high water upheaval.

Lastly, the short break, e.g. "high waters", is the shortest of breaks for the most confident of men. The hem of this pant tends to hover, its break barely skimming the shoe's opening. Since the fashion-forwardness of this hem is usually accompanied by a deliberate "look", your average man's pant hem, nor your average man, would fall into this trendy category.

Which means what you are seeing daily are either pants purchased in incorrect lengths, alterations done before laundering or improper care altogether. Cause aside, men have come to compensate for this short-coming by wearing socks in the same hue as their pants to bridge the garment gap. And though its quite okay for a man to match his socks to his pants, it is not okay to attempt to pass off missing material as a fashion standard.

In the future, gentleman guilty of this sartorial snafu should plan to purchase pants long enough to launder and tailor without having to create a pant hem that hangs somewhere in the textile balance. To borrow (and adapt) a childhood rhyme: the water is low and the land is dry, there's no reason for your pants to be so high. Especially without good reason or good fashion sense.

Click here if you want to know if the type of pants you're buying are the best for your body type. It may be high time to break-up with ill fitting pants to get the pant break best for you.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I have a huge problem: my penis. It has always gotten in the way of what pants I can wear (skinny jeans? forget it!). Do you know of any good underwear that could support my...package or maybe pants that would make "my predicament" a little less noticeable?

Signed,

Penis Envy

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Dear P.E.,

Flat front pants are out. Your gift of girth has left you with only one option: pleated pants. Typically, you would envision an elderly man in pleated pants, but in this instance P.E., you can learn from our geriatric doppelgangers. Besides, not only elderly men wear pleated pants these days.

Because of their leg build, many athletes opt for the roomier waist-band, seat and thigh-area produced by the pleats. Larger men, in general, look better in pleated pants over flat fronts. (The same could be said conversely for a man with a slim frame. Pleated pants inadvertently give off a parachute pant affect on them that make me nostalgic for MC Hammer's "Can't Touch This".)

There aren't many articles written in support of wearing pleated pants, so you're just going to have to trust me on this one. Either opt for the uncool look or be the guy who's always carrying his briefcase to shield your non-pleated predicament.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com