Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

Summer is approaching and I'm trying to get ready wardrobe wise. I want to wear shorts but I have to ask, how short is too short a short for a man?

Signed,

Do Men Wear Short Shorts?

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Dear D.M.W.S.S.,

Without knowing your definition of "short shorts" the generic answer to your question is that a man has every right to wear a short as short as he'd like as long as he has the legs for it and they are age appropriate. In many cases, leg length and height are contributing factors in determining how short a short you should feasibly go.

Yet despite your physical makeup, your 20's are a time when you can explore any of the foregoing inseams, but also, the last time a guy should confidently wear any shorts with an inseam 7" or less. Your 30's are for 9" inseams and your 40's+ are looking at an 11" inseam.

It's debatable whether to call anything beyond an 11" inseam a "short". Many young guy's idea of shorts of late can easily - and honestly - be confused with either a gaucho or a wide-leg trouser with a short break. Its hard to imagine that anyone wearing them would reap any of the benefits that a true short provides. Hemlines that hover around an ankle sock line doesn't seem like it would keep you that cool. Plain and simple, there's nothing short about them.

So again, plan to wear short shorts this summer if its age appropriate - and if you fill fit enough to fit them into your wardrobe. And just remember that if no one else understands your affinity for "short shorts" you can always crank up the Royal Teens for solace. As the few lyrics go:

Who wears short shorts?

We wear short shorts.

They're such short shorts!

We like short shorts!

Who wears short shorts?

We wear short shorts!

Need sartorial advice? Email me: Dwaun@shoppingsavage.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

What is your opinion on the UGG boot? I will wear them out when I am shopping or doing errands (never to a fancy occasion or a night out), usually with a pair of skinny jeans. Usually I wear them because they are SO warm. Also I think they are way cuter than a pair of sneakers and more comfortable than a pair of boots with a heel. I have read some people say they shouldn’t be worn out. What are your thoughts? Are they ok to wear out or should I keep them in my house?

Signed,

Ugg Boot Etiquette

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Dear U.B.E.,

Safely assuming you're referring to the classic short UGG boot style, it can be inferred from this post that there is no reason for you to relegate your boots to being expensive slippers. The classic style in particular predates the Hollywood-induced mania at the turn of the millennium. Although they can be traced back as far as the 1920's, it wasn't until the late 1970's that Australian surfer Brian Smith would introduce UGG boots to the U.S. Like Smith, they were favored by surfers who would slip them on after hitting the waves because of their warmth and absorbency.

Fast forward to 1995 when UGG began nationwide campaigns to expand the companies image beyond that of a "beach boot". Within five years, the company was a household name, thanks to celebrities and the country's growing obsession with not only their every move, but what they wore while moving. Celebrities wardrobes became the new social status standard to reach. Even after it was revealed that many of the stylish celebs were doing more borrowing than buying, companies had already exploited the middle-class's never ending pursuit to keep up with the Joneses. Many had already invested in what they thought were celebrity-approved fashions when in fact, they were just pawns in the game of excess. Since the classic short UGGs meteoric success was considered a trend popularized by celebs, they fell victim to fashion critics who swiftly gave them the metaphoric boot.

Consumers were forced to either choose to eat the cost and move past the "trend" or stand beside, or really in, their sheepskin footwear. As a result, the argument as to whether UGGs are "out" or "in" continues to play out, but that doesn't mean you have to play into it. Celebs may have popularized the boot to the brink of fashion ruin, but they at least had good reason to. For the quality and workmanship, UGGs provide the sort of comfort and warmth that makes them worth the ambiguous notoriety.

In the future, if you ever grow tired of your current UGGs, keep in mind that the brand offers a variety of boot styles and even added casual footwear so you now have the option to schlep around in sheep all year long. The companies expansion into apparel, home furnishings and children's wear just further proves that the company is staking its claim and proving that they're larger than a fad. So be assured that your boots, and this company, are here to stay. And judging by their ability to make such a fuss every year, it wouldn't be a surprise to find that they have more plans up their sheepskin sleeves.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I have a friend who's constantly borrowing my clothing. If she returns them at all they come back in dire need of care. How can I politely tell her to launder my things before she returns them or really, how do I get her to stop borrowing from me altogether?

Signed,

Best Fashion Friend

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Dear B.F.F.,

You sound like a nice person. So nice in fact that your friend is either knowingly walking all over you, or blissfully unaware of the damage she's doing to your friendship - and not to mention your wardrobe.

The next time she asks to borrow something (assuming she does in fact ask) you need to seize that moment to remind her of how one-sided this business of borrowing has been. Make sure you relay to her how inconvenient - and costly! - her obsession with your closet is, and that a few boundaries need to be set.

First, she is not allowed to wear anything before you've had the opportunity to do so. Next, make her aware of anything that is completely off limits including jewelry - sentimental or otherwise, shoes, intimates and personal products (e.g. perfumes, lotions, makeup, etc.). If she does borrow something, she has to return it in the same, or better, condition than when she acquired it. This also means holding her accountable for replacing anything that she ruins. Lastly, she must borrow and return things in a timely manner. You can negotiate on how large a window of time she has but it would be wise to keep track of the things she borrows just to make sure everything you loan out is indeed returned.

As said before, you sound like a nice person. A nice person who doesn't deserve to have a friend walk all over you, quite possibly in your shoes no less. If you confront her and set forth ground rules she'll either agree or disagree, but let her answer surprise you. You don't want to go into a situation like this with preconceived notions. If your friendship is as strong as you would like to believe, she shouldn't have a problem respecting your wardrobe wishes and you'll get your clothing back without losing your friend. But on the off chance she decides that the new rules are for the birds, then let her fly. Life's too short for fair-weathered fashion friends.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I have a pretty straightforward question: why are there so many conflicting opinions on whether you can wear white clothing and shoes after Labor Day? Can you explain to me why I can or can't?

Signed,

Labor Day Great White Debate

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Dear L.D.G.W.D.,

According to fashion etiquette, white clothing, shoes and accessories should only be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day. The origin of the rule was based on the class system of the early 1900's. As more families improved their financial standing in the country, they also wanted to improve their social standing. Lacking the social graces of families who had inherited wealth for generations, the nouveau riche, as they were called, turned to these established families for advice.

Many of these wealthy families lived in major northern cities and would retreat to summer homes during the warm months. Today, what they considered resort wear would be more or less something we'd envision from the Victorian era. As it was learned, white clothing deflected heat and therefore became a summer wardrobe staple. Labor Day came to be seen as the last day of summer and this is when most families would head back to the hustle and bustle of the city, leaving their delicate whites in their summer homes until they returned around Memorial Day. After sharing this practice with their new money doppelgangers, word quickly spread amongst the growing middle class.

This ideology quickly became a steadfast rule of fashion etiquette amongst the 'haves' while the 'have not's', who could not afford the luxury of summer homes and separate wardrobes, were made out to be of a lower class. However, once the country entered the '50s era, many things began to change: women's liberation, the civil right's movement and several wars not only reshaped our countries views, but also the way we dressed.

Ever since then, this debate has raged on. You have those who believe in upholding the rules of fashion however they may have come to be, and then you have those who are hellbent on bending them. Personally, I like reserving white clothing and accessories for summer just because it gives me something to look forward to. Regionally, I could understand how some would want to be excused from the rule but as far as I'm concerned, come hell or hellish temperatures, I still adhere to the old fashion rule. Ultimately, its a personal choice and whether you decide to break with tradition or keep it alive is completely up to you.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com