Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I am a 44-year old single mother of three girls who was blessed with a great post babies body. In fact, having kids gave me a great set of "twins" and a few more curves that I didn't have before. But as my children get older they are telling me I dress too sexy. I think at my age if you've survived a divorce and raised three girls if you still got it, flaunt it!

I like to wear low cut tops, tight dresses and stilettos because I feel sexy so I want to look sexy. Some of my friends have told me this is what's holding me back from a career in entertainment but again, I've met so many people in the industry - a lot of men especially - who I believe wouldn't have given me a second look if I didn't wear revealing clothing. So my question is who should I believe, my friends and family who think I dress too provocatively or just own it? And if they're right, what can I wear to appear less sexual but still look and feel sexy?

Signed,

Sexy Mom

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Dear S.M.,

Despite your sexiness, it sounds like your closet is unbalanced. There is a time and place for every outfit and without age-appropriate clothing the perception you're giving off is counterproductive, especially if you are legitimately trying to break into the entertainment industry. With that said, you could probably stand to have a makeunder.

Take a girlfriend and/or your daughters with you shopping with the intention of finding age-appropriate/business casual wear for your future dealings with your entertainment contacts. If you're really serious about breaking into the industry, then you'll have to rely on something other than your looks to get you past the velvet rope.

And toning it down doesn't mean you have to be completely covered up. Your clothing can still be body conscious but if the dress is low cut, then it should at least be knee length. If the dress is above the knee then try to cover up the "twins" for the sake of leaving something to the imagination. But again, these are the "time and place" pieces that should only be worn when you aren't trying to impress upon someone your desire to break into an industry that hundreds of women dressed similarly to you, who are using the same line as you, but only to finance their Mrs. degree.

As a single mother of three girls you most certainly don't want your daughters growing up to believe that they need to dress a certain way to get ahead in life. There's a certain je ne sais quoi about a woman who knows she's sexy and conveys that sex appeal through her actions and energy and doesn't rely on the obvious.

Dressing for success instead of, well, sex will get you further along than you think. And I'm sure your daughters will be proud of their mom for the change.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: Dwaun@shoppingsavage.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I am a woman of "a certain age" that has a teenage daughter who says I'm starting to dress too provocatively. I reason at my age if you still have something left you should flaunt it! (To give you a general idea of my age: My now ex-husband and I got married in our mid-twenties and were together for close to 20 years.) I spent years feeling like I was under someone's thumb; controlling what I wore, where I went, who my friends were. Now after this divorce I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again!

Maybe I could stand to buy the dress in a size 6 instead of the 4 but if it fits am I wrong for wearing it? Who's right in this situation - me or my daughter? Should I dress less "sexy" to appease her or because it's the "proper thing" for a woman of "a certain age" to do?

Signed,

Cougar vs Cub

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Dear CvC,

First and foremost I'm happy to hear that you're happier than you've been in what sounds like quite some time. It would seem natural to feel this sudden "freedom" after feeling stifled for so long - sounds similar to the same euphoric feeling most teenagers feel when they move out of their parent's house - however, try to take a step back and see things from your daughter's vantage point: she's a teenager, her parents are (I'm assuming) newly divorced and in the midst of it all, her mother has gone from mom to milf. That's a lot to digest on top of your typical teenage angst.

I offer this to you as a compromise: until all of this change begins to solidify, reserve wearing the size 4 dresses for special occasions - i.e. going dancing with your girlfriends, for a date, or even better: when you have to interact or see your ex-husband.

In the meantime, ask your daughter to go with you the next time you want to go shopping and let her pick out an armful of pieces she believes you should wear and in turn pick out what you believe you should wear. Try to mix-and-match the pile she chose with your choices and get her opinion before you make a purchase. This exercise will not only serve as a good bonding experience, but you'll now have clothing that you both can agree on.

Good luck with your new outlook (and outfits) in this leg of your life. Don't try to recapture your "lost youth" through your wardrobe, instead take all of the lesson's life has shown you and nurture your daughter into becoming a strong, confident woman. One day she too may be faced with a similar "clothing-life crisis" and if that day should ever come, she'll know what to do, all thanks to her milf, I mean mom.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I am a 47-year 'young' happily married woman that's devoted most of my life to being a supportive wife and raising my two now teenage children. My issue is that somewhere over the years I've just lost touch with my sense of style. I live a very fulfilling life but I don't feel I look as current as I could.

What advice can you give me to update my style while still dressing/looking age-appropriate?

Sincerely,

Mom Overdue (for a) Makeover

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Oh M.O.M.,

Without knowing anything about your build, I believe a good model to style yourself after would be U.S. first lady Mrs. Michelle Obama. She's in your age range, is also a devoted wife and mother of two and through her husband's presidential race and subsequent victory, managed to stay stylish and current...and I'm going to tell you how.

The key to achieving Michelle's look is all in the shift dress. You can easily pair one with an infinite number of jackets, cardigans or accessories. An A-line skirt would work in place of a dress. Try pairing it with a waist-cinching belt and either a sleeveless top and cardigan for a more casual look or a blouse and jacket to appear more professional and pulled-together. Complete the look with kitten heels or flats to accomplish a sophisticated and yet, subtly comfortable style.

Michelle also adds variety to her casual looks by pairing her tops with cropped khakis or wide-legged pants. A pair of dark denim jeans would be a great alternative to introduce into your wardrobe as well. These can be dressed up or down and are season-less.

One of my last suggestions - and possibly the most drastic - would be a mini makeover. Changing one's hair color, length or both will definitely help you update your look and illicit the reaction it sounds like you're going after. But why stop there? Look into having a make-up consultation to change up your current color palate. Also, be sure you find time to keep up with a regular workout routine and to get involved in activities that two toddler's wouldn't allow time for before. Now is the perfect time to introduce to the world M.O.M. 2.o, or more poignantly, as Michelle's husband, President Barack Obama once quoted Mahatma Gandhi in saying: "be the change you want to see".

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com