Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years now and her birthday is in a few weeks. I was thinking of spicing things up a bit and getting her some really nice lingerie as part of her gift. Do you think this is a bad idea? If so, why? If not, where's a good place for tasteful stuff like that?

Signed,

Birthday Boudoir Boyfriend

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B.B.B.,

I'm so glad you came to me for advice on this touchy subject matter! So many guys think they're doing their girlfriend a favor by picking out some "sexy lingerie" - that she probably wouldn't be caught dead in - let alone a leaked tape of some sort. But fear not, for I am here to help you sift through this sexy sartorial conundrum! Lets start at the top and work our way down, shall we? First, you're going to need to rifle through your girl's intimates drawer - if you haven't already - to determine her bra and pantie sizes. Besides looking at just the pattern in sizing, also pay attention to the colors, brands and even the more common styles. This homework will clue you in to what colors she typically chooses for herself, where she likes to purchase her intimate apparel and what styles she trusts the most to support her best T & A-ssets.

Next, you'll want to seek the assistance of either one of her close girlfriends or even a female close to you - I would ask your sister or a friend before calling mom on this one. Have them go with you to a few shops to get their opinion - and to pawn off the pastel-clad bag once the purchase has been made. You could also take to the web and place the order online - but be sure to pay a little extra for the gift wrapping.

And as you mentioned - I wouldn't make this her only birthday gift. No man should rest the fate of his relationship in the cup and crotch of a gift that could be received in a range of emotions from tickled pink to road-rage red. You could throw a few "adult accessories" in the bag to go with the lingerie to add to the evening's excitement - massage oils, blindfolds and handcuffs, oh my! - but a nice piece of jewelry or even a get-away vacation would be a great addition to your peek-a-boo present.

Below are a few links to help you jump start your search. The prices - and quality - range from borderline trashy to triple-figures so its a financial free-for-all when it comes to what you choose. If you follow my advice I can almost guarantee that your girlfriend won't be the only one getting her candles blown by the end of the night.

Lingerie Links:

Frederick's of Hollywood

Victoria's Secret

La Perla

La Petite Coquette

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Good morning Shopping Savage,

I just had the best first date of my life. I'm going out of town on business for a few days but we planned our next date the evening upon my return. I was thinking while I was out of town that it would be really nice to surprise her with a small gift. Maybe a bottle of perfume? A small piece of jewelry? Thoughts?

Signed,

Second Date Jitters

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Good Late Evening S.D.J.,

Maybe if you had known her for longer than one minute....err, I mean one date - albeit "the best first date of [your] life" - then I would say a gift is a great gesture but too much too soon may make you come across as being too eager. Not to mention with just one date under your belt your bound to have trouble choosing a fragrance she would like, let alone something as intimate, personal and quite frankly, costly, as jewelry. If I were to suggest you take any sort of gift I would stick to the traditional: flowers.

My advice to you, and to all, is when it comes to relationships - as I am no expert, trust me - to look at it like a traffic signal. It sounds like the first date went well so you're out of the red; currently you're in the yellow so proceed with caution until you get the green light from your paramour. A gift is a great gesture but I think you making the effort to get together right after you return from your trip is probably sending all the signals she needs to know that you're interested.

So the bottom line is this: flowers would suffice in this instance, a small gift from your travels - something indigenous and inexpensive - would be really thoughtful and unexpected, but truly your presence will be gift enough.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I am a 16-year old gay guy originally from NYC but recently moved with my family to another state where my style doesn't always seem to translate. My local friends chastise me a bit about some of the things I wear, down to my man bags! Should I tone it down a bit or just stay true to me and march to the beat of my own designer drum??

Signed,

Lost In Fashion Translation

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Dear L.I.F.T.,

There's nothing like a personal story to bring things into perspective. I left a small town and moved to Washington, DC for college. During those years away at school I was able to break out of my shell and really come into my own style wise. I, too, had your pension for purses, err, I mean "man bags" and a flashier wardrobe. But after college I returned home for what was supposed to be a very temporary stay - five years later, I'm still here. Not that I'm complaining per se, because the move back taught me a valuable lesson: your personal style isn't defined by your shoes, clothes or bag - its how you wear it that makes your style unique.

I would try incorporating your friend's indigenous styles with your NY flare. Trust me, after a few years of trying to rage against the gawks and stares I decided that if you can't beat 'em, beat 'em at their own game. I stowed the more eclectic clothing pieces and man bag collection and just started carrying one functional messenger bag-style for weeks at a time and tried dressing similarly to those around me, but adding my own personal touches, be it the color combination I chose or an added accessory to make the look more my own.

I would try this out for a few weeks and see if it makes you feel less like an outsider and more so like a gay man with enough fashion sense to leave the (excessive) baggage at home.

At your age, its dually important to fit in and make friends - especially moving at this critical time in your adolescence - but to also be true to yourself and be an individual. I know - I get it. But it's also just as important to experiment with your style, and while you're at it push your friends and others to experiment with their look. What you'll discover about yourself - what you may all discover - may surprise you. This is just an example of one of the great things about fashion and personal style: it is in a constant state of evolution whether we are aware of it sometimes or not. So take this moment LIFT and embrace it! You've been given this opportunity to start over and reinvent yourself for a reason. Don't look at it as something that will stifle you creatively, but as an opportunity to evolve fashionably, and even socially, into a more well-rounded you.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I am a college student on a semi-permanent financial diet. The problem is that the girls I go to school with carry designer handbags and wear designer clothes and I'm slowly finding myself drawn to their style of dress and choice of accessories.

I can't afford real designer clothing and bags so I was thinking of getting a few knock-off designer bags and wanted your opinion on what I should get or where I should start looking.

Thanks!

Craving Designer Bags Badly

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Dear C.D.B.B.,

I'm truly apologetic, but I can't help you. At least not help you find a knock-off designer bag. I have never purchased a knock-off anything, least a bag, nor do I condone my friends (or fashionable fans) to purchase counterfeits. They are bad for the economy and only good for organized crime, cruel child labor and underpaid and overworked assembly workers.

If you can't afford an expensive designer bag, my suggestion would be to take a trip to your local TJ Maxx, Marshall's or Target. You should be able to find a well-made bag (one that wasn't sewn together by hands barely big enough to hold a threaded needle - but I digress...) that fits into your "semi-permanent financial diet".

In no time you'll have a bag collection comprised of diverse brands, styles and colors. You'll be just as trendy as all the other girls at your school, only your bag will speak more to your individual style and be less about being a designer droid.

Check out http://fakesareneverinfashion.com/ for more information on why "fakes are NEVER in fashion".

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com

Dear Shopping Savage...

Dear Shopping Savage,

I'm thinking of investing in a white bag for the summer. Do you have any recommendations for keeping it clean and maybe even a brand that makes a good looking one?

Signed,

White Haute ... or Not

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Well honestly W.H.O.N.,

The best way to keep a white bag pristinely clean is to leave it in the store! However, if you're going to invest in a summer bag, and white is what you have your head, heart and hard earned money set on then there are a number of things you can do to get the longest life out of your white hot purse purchase. First, think about what function you want the bag to serve. For example, if you're looking for one to use everyday for work and even on the weekends then you'll want to look at a modest sized tote that can hold all of your daily essentials without looking like luggage. Also, if you can, opt for one that's base (or "bottom") either has "purse feet" or a pebbled leather, preferably in a darker shade. Both serve a dual purpose - they help support the bag but also prevent the bottom of your bag from looking so squalid.

Next, consider the bag's material. Look for leather, canvas or a water-resistant nylon like the one used for Longchamp's ever popular 'Le Pliage' tote - which happens to come in an assortment of colors, including white.

Now then there's maintaining that crisp white look. You could use scotchgard's fabric and upholstery protector for anything that may require a little more protection - be sure to test a small inconspicuous area before "gard"-ing the whole bag. One of my favorite personal cleaning tricks is an oldie-but-a-goodie: Shout triple-acting spray and an old toothbrush. I've treated just about every stain with this simple formula, and on just about everything - from shoes, shirts and pants to accessories such as my bags - that needed a little stain-fighting TLC.

At the end of the day - or more specifically, at the end of the summer - when you put the bag away, store it in a cloth drawstring bag. Most bags come with a "storage bag" like this but if not check with your local "super store" and they should carry something very similar. This allows the bag's material to breath while being protected from dust and the like till next summer.

Just be aware that accidents do happen and that some extra care and attention must be paid to light colored accessories, especially white ones. But take it all in stride. Do your homework, follow the tips I've mentioned and then just go for it. It's all in the name of fashion so it should be fun - anything beyond the rules I've set and your own instincts are just, well, white noise.

Need sartorial advice? Email me: ShoppingSavage@gmail.com